Tuesday, November 24, 2009
7:30am (Estimated surgery duration is 8 hours)
St. Louis University Hospital
Richard Bucholz, MD
Director of Neurosurgery
As much as we all hoped and prayed that Mom would make enough of a recovery to at least reclaim her life for a limited time, we now focus instead on making Mom as comfortable as possible, preserving her dignity and enriching our time together.
With the help of dedicated nursing care, Mom is still at home with Dad, who remains the light of her life. It is obvious to everyone that Mom shines brightest when Dad is in the room and she continues to amaze us when she throws a witty remark Dad's way or playfully teases him as she has done for the last 50+ years.
Hospice is increasingly involved in helping us meet our readjusted goals for Mom. While she rests or is asleep for much of the day, during Mom's awake time she often volunteers a smile, maintains a constant interest and concern for those around her, and - though limited - expresses her sweet and loving personality and good humor.
It is with heavy hearts that we mark this two year anniversary of our brother Rick's passing. We miss him more than words can say, yet we feel both his presence daily and the strength he is providing us as we walk this sad journey with Mom. It gives us great comfort to know that Rick is there waiting - hand outstretched to Mom - when the time comes. What a joyous reunion it will be.
In life, Mom never left Rick's side; her love a constant companion even as Rick made a life for himself. From his daunting prognosis at birth, Mom was there for him every step of the way as Rick endured so much, transitioning into this world. And now to know that Rick will be there waiting for Mom as she transitions out of this world, is very comforting. Very "Rick-like." Just as he would have wanted. And somehow, it now seems to make perfect sense.
We gain strength and comfort from words that Rick left behind, especially his classic "Other 12 Days of Christmas."
"May you find joy in places and situations that you never thought possible," Rick wrote as the Second Day Christmas wish. How we read that so differently now and how we feel Rick is speaking to us in his words that he left behind. We do find joy in the time we treasure with Mom, despite the circumstances.
And his 5th day of Christmas: "May the fifth day of Christmas bring you contentment; contentment to help you appreciate that while every day may not be a bed of roses, each day brings with it seeds of optimism and possibility."
And our family's favorite...on the 12th day, Rick wished for us "a gift so small it would fit under any tree, so large, no box could contain it, so inexpensive, a child could afford it, and so priceless, no one could ever buy it; the gift of time, time to treasure who you have, what you have and why you have it for as long as time will allow."
The time we have with Mom now is truly a gift. After Rick's death, a dear friend of his told us of a conversation in which Rick said, "My mom is the smartest person I know." We shared that with Mom, and now we are preparing ourselves to share Mom with the saints. We hold her hand now, knowing that soon Rick will be holding it as his other Christmas wishes come true, "excitement," "happiness," and... "peace."
Joyce's amazing life on earth came to an end at noon, Saturday, as she peacefully took her last breath.
She was surrounded by her loving family, who remains grateful for the gift of time with Joyce. These last few months have not been easy for Joyce, but she lived them as she had her entire life, with cheerfulness, deep concern for others, and extraordinary grace.
We thank all of you who have followed Joyce's story, prayed for her, and relayed your thoughts and memories.